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The icy winter has claimed me here as I'm holed up against my will in this place, and it makes me dream of the warm sunshine that floods from your beautiful face. As I said before, sunshine just seems to follow her wherever she goes. Every day with you is a summer's day, though we're torn apart. What I would give to be home in Sydney and in your arms. Yesterday I said beautiful things to you, but it ended up making you cry in pain with longing for me and I felt so desperate and alone wanting to comfort you and wipe your every tear away for good.

I stare out the windows every day and listen to old love songs, waiting to see if you will follow me again. So close and yet so far. To touch your face and hold your hand would truly have my heart beating again and my head full of dreams would all come tumbling out. My life here in Lithgow is so routine and uneventful, it makes the time with you so much more precious even though that is limited too. I dreamt of taking you to the waterslides world at Jamberoo near Wollongong next summer, and making a trip with your whole family to Tangalooma just off Brisbane for a few days, feeding wild dolphins and enjoying the sand and water with you. I wish we could fly off with all your family and friends to Hawaii and learn to surf together. I looked up the Four Seasons hotel there in Oahu, and the website said we could book out the entire seventeenth floor including the penthouse suite for a special celebration. I hope you dream of possible things like that too when I'm no longer hostage and you're no longer held back. Most of all I yearn to be with you and at home too.

Hold my hand in your dreams my only loved one, and I will sweetly kiss you and call you mine. Think of what it would mean to finally laugh and stare into each other's eyes filling our days with good things and your family all around. Dream and reach out for better days to bless us because they will surely come. My communications might be nearly entirely cut off, but you can at least follow me each day, and now and then there are these love letters for you. At least your family surrounds you and helps you, but when I remember so many things in the Holy Spirit and say things like I remember when you were little far away and I healed your face in Christ it simply makes you cry for me. Our love is desperate but it is strong, and it is built on the firm foundation of Christ. Never forget the One who strengthens us and calls us forward. What God has started he will surely finish and although we don't understand all the twists and turns he hasn't brought us this far just to abandon us. Buy two books for yourself as I have done from eBay. Joel Osteen with Your Best Life Now devotional, and 100 Days of Favour devotional by Joseph Prince. A couple of pages a day each will really uplift encourage and comfort you, even though you have your studies to fit in. I also have Our Daily Bread app on my phone and it reads to me each day and supplies a background to read. You're not too young, don't worry. Think of Jeremiah as a teenager and all he did. Nobody in the Holy Bible felt they were at the right time, the right age or qualified and yet they are our heroes of the faith. You are my hero and my shining light in Christ and my very great reward. Don't let anyone look down on you because of your age... remember Timothy and Paul too. And remember I will always love you and be in love with you no matter how long this takes or what happens to us. You will always be my only loved one. There will never really be a goodbye darling.

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